![]() If they are, at least you know you are not alone, and that God can change them!īut it’s also possible that God has you where you are for a reason. ![]() Hopefully, your reasons for being where you are not as sinful as mine were. Here’s the thing: once I started treasuring Christ more than I treasured my career, it helped me understand how to arrange my other priorities.įor the first time, I could see that my commitment to that university was no longer greater than my commitment to my relationship with Reed.Īfter that, one of the other things I needed to know before I transferred schools was if I’d be breaking any other commitments God wanted me to keep. Instead of seeking to do my best, I had to be the best. I thought I came to this conclusion because I wanted God to be glorified through excellent work, but it was really because I wanted the satisfaction of self-importance. The problem was that I assumed, “If God wants me to major in Strategic Communication, he also wants me to continue attending one of the best schools for that major.” ![]() My skills and passions all pointed in that direction. When Reed and I started dating during our freshman year of college, I felt that God was leading me toward a career in strategic communication. You can work toward a better job at a better company with better pay, but the bliss of that dream will always remain elusive. You should absolutely look forward to living near your boyfriend - that’s a good thing! But eventually, the excitement will fade, and you’ll realize that your relationship can’t be where you find purpose in your life.īut for exactly the same reason, you also won’t find purpose in your career. We will struggle to prioritize our commitments correctly if we do not prioritize God first. In order to make wise decisions about your relationship, your first and foremost commitment must always be to God.īecause only God can satisfy the deepest needs of our hearts, our decisions only lead to lasting joy when they’re centered around Jesus Christ. When should your relationship become more important than those other commitments? The last question is much more complicated. They don’t answer the question of whether you should be together, but they do allow you to make that choice. The first two situations resolve themselves. Your commitment to your relationship outweighs your other commitments.The reality is, though, that you’re where you are now and your boyfriend is where he is because you’ve each decided that there’s something worth keeping you there - at least for now.īased on these two causes, there are only three ways (aside from breaking up) that the long-distance phase of your relationship can end: Maybe it’s not something you even enjoy, it’s just something you need to do right now. Perhaps you started dating after you were already committed to different places. You may not have intentionally chosen these commitments over the relationship. Whatever it is and whatever the consequences of breaking that commitment, it’s something you can control. Maybe it’s your commitment to your university, your job, your family, or a specific ministry. While you may experience some external factors, the most common cause of long-distance relationships is other commitments. Long-Distance Cause #2: Other Commitments The best thing for you to focus on is probably not how to be together, but how to find joy in suffering until then. If you don’t apply for a visa or a job, you can’t blame an external factor for keeping you apart.īut if you’ve done everything you can and it’s still not working out yet, I’m sorry. Of course, there are some things you can control. If you can’t find a job in the city where your boyfriend lives, that’s another very discouraging external factor. If you live in different countries and the government is not issuing visas, that’s a really difficult external factor that you can do nothing to change. ![]() Increasingly in the age of coronavirus, many long-distance couples must remain apart due to factors outside their control. But if you’re aware of what’s really causing your separation - and the different ways it could potentially end - you can reduce some of that uncertainty.įirst, let’s look at the two things that cause long-distance relationships: external factors and other commitments. You might not be able to know the exact answers to these questions yet. But long-distance dating throws another element of ambiguity into the mix: How will long-distance end? When will it end? Waiting until graduation sounded like a long time, but I couldn’t see distance ending any other way.Īll dating is uncertain in that you don’t know if your relationship will end in marriage. “I guess - I really don’t know,” I said, pushing the pasta around on my dining hall tray. ![]() “So, you’re planning to date long-distance for four years?” my friend asked when she heard that Reed and I had started dating. ![]()
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